a scribble of jo

It was a rough day. I walk into my first class (third period) and the kids want to know if I’m mad. I haven’t even said a word yet. Am I mad? No, I’m exhausted. I’m insecure. I don’t know what I’m doing, and their complaints and eye rolls only serve as a constant reminder of my doubts. Am I mad? Am I having a bad day? I wasn’t, but thanks for remedying that. Oh, you don’t have your assignment? The one I gave you a month ago? Sorry for asking . . .

I go into my friend Melissa’s class, and she sees that something hurts. She asks me what’s wrong, and I tell her, and she says, “It’s okay. You’re going to make it. We’re going to make it.”

But how? How will this year finish? A month and a half left, how will we make it to the finish line? And then I’m reminded of one of my knucklehead students. The one who, when he asked me what I thought would never happen, I told him, “That you’d fall in love with Jesus.” And I think of his face when he told me that he asked Christ into his life. That smile on his face, the tension released from his shoulders. And I think of some of my girls coming over for Pancake Night and how we ended up sitting on the trampoline just talking and being.

We have so many gifts from the ultimate Giver, gifts He’s dying to give us. So this is my attempt to catch those gifts in the moment. Like a few days ago–my morning bowl of Trix. I don’t normally buy the expensive cereal. It’s too high and unimportant for my budget. Last week though, I thought I’d treat myself to a box, seeing as it was the first year I was celebrating my birthday away from home. A little comfort goes a long way. And as I ate my first bowl of the crunchy sugar cereal, I fell in love with the how the colors and the bowl looked in that morning light.

The first gift of a million. Thank you, Jesus.