It doesn’t come naturally, choosing this over all the other demands the day is making. It doesn’t come naturally, training my pipsqueaks to give a little space, so I can “do my Bible.” It doesn’t come naturally, waking up early and following through.
It’s all I’ve got, though.
Because the day is already making its demands. Because the kids can’t give space for long. Because there isn’t time later.
And then, it turns out, it’s all I need.
I’ve been hurting lately over the concept of God’s timing. His timing seems so far off from what I would’ve chosen. (And I don’t know why he doesn’t want to run his ideas by me! Doesn’t he know I have plenty of ideas on how he could best take care of me and the kids?!) If God asked me, I would have soothed my aching heart with a little bit of romance by now. If God asked me, I would’ve blessed my tired body with a little bit of weight loss. Twelve pounds could do the trick. If God asked me, I would’ve eased the daily grind with a surprise bonus in my paycheck. A couple thousand, that’s all I’m asking.
But He’s not asking, and I know why.
Because all my solutions don’t lead me back to Him. All my solutions don’t bring me back here. All my solutions start with me. When God strips me down and brings me here, this is where I can hear him say, “Girl, I got you. Let me have you.”
It doesn’t come naturally until there is no other choice. Praise God there is no other choice.
“But I trust in you, O LORD.
I say, ‘You are my God.’
My times are in your hand.”
(Psalm 31: 14, 15)
a scribble of jo 