a scribble of jo

where to?

Category: but all this is grief

  • unravel

    What I realize today, this morning, is that the struggle of this year has been the way in which it all continuously unravels. Think of a beautiful rug or tapestry or canvas art you have worked hard to create. It has required dreaming and imagining, re-envisioning, and effort. It has taken tears and sweat and…

  • How are you feeling now?

    There is a bruise in the middle of my chest from where the EMT buried the knuckle on his middle finger in an attempt to revive me. There is another bruise in the crook of my left elbow from where another EMT sunk the IV needle. My right leg is sore, like I pulled a…

  • being alive

    It is a unique day, this Thursday. Yesterday, when Mister and I discussed it, we weighed the pros and cons, we considered options. At the end of it, we both knew what should happen, but I could tell he didn’t want to be the one to say it. So I did. “You go, to your…

  • giving…thanks?

    I have a hard time with Thanksgiving. The holiday. The celebration. The traditions and the expectations set up around this day. Same day every year, no matter the date, no matter the circumstance, always the fourth Thursday of November. My year follows the same pattern, typically, and I usually consider a year as starting in…

  • grace over convenience

    I said to Mister last night that I’m not sure what comes next. There’s the natural burnout of a teacher. The job demands and it takes and you submit and give…Any eventually the input can no longer supply the output, and you’re done. Then there is teaching during a pandemic. The kids wear masks, the…