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even living?
Something important is happening here, but I still can’t pin down what. It’s clear from my children’s happy days and satisfied sleeps that we’re making it. We keep making it. Each day arrives, and we’re still here, but now something new bids us forward into each morning. Is this joy? Is this hope? We made…
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If this is now
So be it. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the job God has called me to complete. The race I’ve been signed up to run. The life I am blessed/burdened/beckoned to live. Jude writes to the church, “To those who are called, beloved in God the Father and kept for Jesus Christ: May mercy,…
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changed rhythm
Fourteen months later, I still feel the absence of my person in real time. When the kids wake up ahead of schedule and my daughter is asking me to hold her, but I have to get my other son ready for his school day. When my baby asks to ‘Ea, ea?” pointing toward the kitchen,…
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known better
If I had known better, I would have laid my body down and taken my last breath with his. This past year has taught me nothing more than the lesson, “It always gets harder.” I should have known better. I should have looked around the Emergency Room and seen my husband’s body and I should…
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now I wake
I take baths at three in the morning now, when the babies rest and sleep escapes my halfhearted grasp. It used to be after school, when Eric was alive, because he would see how tired I was by the time I got home from school and he would want to see me relax. He loved…
a scribble of jo 