a scribble of jo

where to?

Tag: this is grief

  • thanks, full

    My mom texts me, “Writing a list of thanks is the best way to overcome beaten down-ness.” I don’t believe her. I think, I am more beaten down than thankfulness can fix. I think, If I have to check off this box so my beaten down-ness can be justified, I’ll write the dumb list. The…

  • known better

    If I had known better, I would have laid my body down and taken my last breath with his. This past year has taught me nothing more than the lesson, “It always gets harder.” I should have known better. I should have looked around the Emergency Room and seen my husband’s body and I should…

  • now I wake

    I take baths at three in the morning now, when the babies rest and sleep escapes my halfhearted grasp. It used to be after school, when Eric was alive, because he would see how tired I was by the time I got home from school and he would want to see me relax. He loved…

  • carry this

    I am here to see if there is a way words can restore purpose. If there is a way that the electric ricocheting of shrapnel can slow. If there is a way the deadening pressure can lift. My love, my honeybear, has died. My best friend, my person, our homemaker and caretaker, our number one,…