a scribble of jo

where to?

Tag: young widow

  • happening here

    I am full of an awareness for this year’s advent. The preparation for a promise’s fulfillment. The promise of something good still to come. It feels like something important is happening here, but I can’t put my finger on it exactly. I see the moments as they unfold in front of me, and I know…

  • thanks, full

    My mom texts me, “Writing a list of thanks is the best way to overcome beaten down-ness.” I don’t believe her. I think, I am more beaten down than thankfulness can fix. I think, If I have to check off this box so my beaten down-ness can be justified, I’ll write the dumb list. The…

  • changed rhythm

    Fourteen months later, I still feel the absence of my person in real time. When the kids wake up ahead of schedule and my daughter is asking me to hold her, but I have to get my other son ready for his school day. When my baby asks to ‘Ea, ea?” pointing toward the kitchen,…

  • just enough time

    This picture came up in Google Photos a few days back. “8 years ago today,” the caption read. I remember the moment we took this photo—I was cranky over touring a city that promised a lot of delicious food options but still left me hungry; he was happy to just be together. That’s how it…

  • now I wake

    I take baths at three in the morning now, when the babies rest and sleep escapes my halfhearted grasp. It used to be after school, when Eric was alive, because he would see how tired I was by the time I got home from school and he would want to see me relax. He loved…